Monsters University

Hello, I’m a unicorn. Sorry for the delay between reviews but–

Dude, where have you been? I thought you died. I was even planning a viking funeral when I found your body.

Whoa there Evey, I just went away for a bit. I’m back now, but since school started, I may write on here less frequently.  Don’t worry, I haven’t abandoned you, textbox, as much as I wish I had.

Awww. I missed you too.

So, on to Monsters University. I though that–

Wait, Monsters University?!

Yeah, what about it?

You do realize that this is your first review on something completely unrelated to a comic book or super hero?

You’re right. Wow. So… uh… how should I go about this? It’s a special review after all.

I dunno. Just tell the internet what you think like you’ve always done.

Um… okay. I thought it was so-so. I’ll break it down to the good and the meh. There isn’t anything particularly bad in it. Monsters University was just average.

The Good: The animation was beautiful, with each monster getting a unique  design. It’s fun just looking at all of the creatures they could come up with. The world was bright and colorful. The best thing about it was the voice over acting. They got Billy Crystal, John Goodman, and Steve Buscemi to reprise their roles as Mike, Sulley, and Randy respectively. They brought a lot of energy and chemistry to their roles and were pretty funny. The fraternity brothers of Oozma Kappa were really funny and memorable, but the character that got the most laughs out of me was Sherri Squibbles, the mother of one of the fraternity members. Out of all of the characters, she got me to laugh out loud the most. I liked the shift in main protagonists. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Monsters Inc. but I remember the story being slightly more focused on Sulley. This movie is Mike’s time to shine. We see that he how had to work hard for to get into his major wasn’t a natural talent. Sulley, in contrast, is a jock with skills but a questionable work ethic. I like that they took risks with the plot, but I won’t spoil how. The story still very cliched, but there were one or two  chances taken that I didn’t see coming.

The Meh: Practically everything else. Like I said, the story is an homage to college films by playing up the cliches. I didn’t mind it as much, except it got in the way of character development. And when there was development, it felt forced. Mike and Sulley’s relationship suffered the most. We see them as rivals, but then they do a quick 180 and become best friends. The gags were more cute than funny, getting only a couple of laughs out of me. The villains weren’t memorable or interesting. They were just jocks without and defining characteristics other than being jocks.

Overall, it’s worth a watch. Was it up to the caliber of the first film? No. Monsters Inc. was perfectly fine as a stand alone film. This prequel was unnecessary, but is good as prequels go. It stayed faithful to the original while telling its own story. It is better than many movies out there, but lacks the heart from the first movie. I wasn’t blown away by it, but kids and adults will enjoy it and the message about how people come in many shapes and sizes. I enjoyed it for what it was, and you probably will too, dear reader.

***

Kirin read and reread her review, checking for any typos. Yawning, she clicked publish, knowing that she might find more when she looked at it with fresh eyes the next day. She closed her laptop, and, feeling thirsty, walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water before bed. Her bedroom window silently slip open and a creature with long hairy hands and dagger-like claws pulled itself inside her room.

He perked his long, pointed ears, listening for someone who might discover him. He wasn’t concerned, though, because most humans couldn’t see the denizens of his realm, but better safe than sorry. He heard the girl speaking to someone, but only smelled her. Curious. Suddenly he heard the girl walking back to her bedroom. He quickly snuck into her closet.

“I don’t know, textbox. I always assumed that Aunt May taught Peter Parker how to sew,” Kirin said, “I mean, where else would he– huh? Weird.”

What?” asked a distinctly male voice. The creature, strangely enough, couldn’t smell or see him. If he hadn’t heard the voice, he would have assumed the man wasn’t there at all.

“I could’ve sworn the window was closed when I left. You think someone broke in?” Kirin muttered.

Cool! Then we can play Home Alone! I already have the schematics for a Rube Goldberg flame thrower. Ooh-ooh! Can I say ‘Keep the change ya filthy animal’? Pretty, pretty please?” The male voice said excitedly. His voice was grating and obnoxious to the creature’s ears. He decided that the male would be the first to go. The girl sighed.

“No, textbox, we are not playing Home Alone. If you had any brains to your name, you’d notice that things operate differently in this universe than in Marvel’s. Home Alone antics are an easy way to get a bullet to the brain, not catch a bunch of hapless thieves,” Kirin said. Obviously she was as annoyed as the creature.

Brains to your name? What the heck does that even mean?” he asked.

“That’s not the point. My point is that I’m calling the police like any sensible person would,” she said then called out, “Hello? I don’t have any prescription drugs or anything of value, and, since you didn’t damage anything, I won’t press charges if you leave right now.” The creature didn’t move. He heard her run to the phone and place a call. Soon, people arrived in carriages that sound like screams. From the closet, he heard them search the house from head to toe. They even checked his hiding spot, but none saw him. They left as quickly as they came. Now that they were alone, he could have some fun.

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